He may be crazy, but he's not stupid!

Most of you probably aren't aware of Crazy Gideon, a local Los Angeles "celebrity" made famous for his zany ads. Crazy Gideon's is an electronic store located in the seedy part of Downtown LA, where electronics and appliances are sold at wholesale prices. Yes, he is indeed that crazy.



I can't believe he's advertising the sale of a first generation Sony Playstation. Not a PS2 or PS3, but the original Sony console that was released back in 1994. Geez, I was 13 at that time. Now that I think about it, I wonder if he has any original Nintendo Entertainment Systems or a Sega Genesis in his warehouse.

Oh Crazy Gideon, what crazy antics will you come up with next?

Unhostile Girlfriend Takeover

Hello again, this is Harry's girlfriend. Since my fabulous and endlessly sweet boyfriend decided to dedicate an entire post to why I’m so amazing, I thought I reciprocate the action, since he’s quite a catch himself.

My boyfriend is awesome for the following reasons listed (in no particular order, I might add):

He’s insanely sweet. He’ll do anything and everything for me without even questioning why I need something or why I’m acting weird/bizarre/crazy/etc. He just puts up with it and does it with a smile on his face, which I admire.

He brings out the best in me, especially when we’re competitive (sports, video games, games, etc.). I love this quality because he makes me a better person.

He’s a MAN. Now this may sound like a simply ‘DUH’ to all you readers out there, but let me tell you ladies, it’s not because so many men don’t know how to do this and depend on others too much or make excuses for their actions. My boyfriend takes care of things when he says he will, so I never have to nag him (and trust me, this is a good thing because I’m prone to nag a lot). And he opens the car door for me. Now that’s hot.

He puts up with my weird humor and quirks, and I have a lot of them. And he laughs at my corny jokes.

He’s super patient. I cannot tell you how many times I beat an issue to death (death, I tell ya!) but he still gives it as much attention as the first time around.

He’s not afraid to be affectionate or show me he cares in public.

He genuinely has my well-being at heart. I don’t think there’s a mean bone in that boy’s body. 'Cause when I stare at that face of his and look into his eyes, I know without a doubt that he’ll never do anything to hurt me intentionally (and that is a feeling hard to come by).

I shall now end this before it gets too sappy. To all you ladies out there, I hope you have someone just as fabulous in your life. Rhianna ESPECIALLY take note of this post.

P.S. Note to Harry: I’m still better than you are at video games.

Hostile Girlfriend Takeover

Hello. This is Harry's girlfriend, posting as a guest blogger today here on his blog.

I have come to clarify one thing: I will always be better at video games than he is. Men of the world, beware. There are others out there like me. And they will take you down. Yes, you.

Goodbye!

-Harry's girlfriend

P.S. I most certainly am NOT a feminist. Don't even get me started on that. Another hostile takeover post to come on this very issue. Stay tuned.

Are girls just as good as guys at gaming?

Video gaming has always been considered a social activity for young boys. At least that is how it was once viewed back when I grew up playing The Legend of Zelda and Super Mario Bros on my Nintendo Entertainment console.
As the next-generation consoles advanced further in graphics and physics, so did the general gaming audience. Believe it or not, there are plenty of female gamers out there, in fact, 40% of all gamers are women according to this study. And they are good. Much to my chagrin, I can personally attest to this.

Now I must admit that is difficult for me to admit to this, for it is a direct blow to my macho manly mastodon-like manhood. My girlfriend can beat me in video games. I'd like to kid around and say I let her win, but I don't. I am quite competitive and do not like to lose. I guess that is something I have to get accustomed to as my girlfriend crushes my high scores on her first try.

It is something that I find tough to swallow, simply because I have been gaming since childhood! I'm like Mike Tyson in Punch-Out: my style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable. I'm not supposed to lose! Now I feel like the underdog, just like Little Mac.

Is it disheartening or demoralizing to lose to a girl? Yes, yes it is, but I've learned to accept that it isn't so bad to lose to your better half. I think it is great that my girlfriend is a gamer and that she's good at it. Most guys would be happy if their significant others shared that same interest. It is something most of us would consider a "catch." Plus it is fun knowing she has a little inner geek within her.

Now I must excuse myself as I attempt to trounce my girlfriend's high score. It's game over for her!

Why my girlfriend rocks

My girlfriend never ceases to amaze me. She thinks that I think she's crazy, which isn't true. I don't think she's crazy at all, at least not most of the time. She is convinced that she has some crazy habits and quirks, but I find those unique aspects about her to be quite attractive. She's not only beautiful, but she has a lot of spunk and zest, which keeps me on my toes. So I have decided to make a laundry list of the things she does to better understand the method to her madness.

• She claims she can and does eat more than me. A false accusation that I dispute with her every time we go out to eat. But be cautious to avoid having your hands near any piece of cheese or chocolate when she's around. She bites!
• She cracks herself up. Sometimes I see her giggling to herself before words come out of her mouth.
• She literally laughs until she tears up, which probably makes people think that she has a verbally abusive boyfriend.
• She can drink a lot of fluids. By a lot I mean devouring three pints of water within less than an hour. She then has to constantly remind me that she has to go pee.
• She can also crush empty bottles of water against her stomach. I provide you with the evidence(picture taken after she polished three bottles).
• She believes she has OCD. I think she's just very meticulous in everything she does, which includes asking me to watch her stuff any time she leaves me alone with her personal belongings. Why couldn't women just carry wallets in their pockets? Ah yes, because they need accessories. Without accessories the world will implode!
• When we're at the movies, she always has to cover her eyes and ears during any tense scenes (I mentioned this in an earlier entry). I find this to be a cute quirk of hers.
• She absolutely freaks out when she comes across a minuscule bug and usually has to have me do the dirty deed of disposing them. I'm her personal exterminator.
  
• She can do a spot on impersonation of Animal and the Cookie Monster.
• Not necessarily a quirk but a personal observation: I think she speaks another language when she orders her coffee.
  

Now I'm hoping she never reads this, for I shall definitely feel her wrath, which would constitute of yet another viewing of a chick flick.

Sports: An Emotional Rollercoaster Ride

Women may think that most men are unemotional cyborgs, but that is a misconception. We are very emotional. Just observe as we watch sporting events and go through a roller-coaster of emotions. You'll notice that there are specific segments during the course of a game where our mood swings like a pendulum. These emotions are further enhanced with the consumption of alcohol.

Might I also mention that some guys bring their girlfriends along to these events. These guys are considered to be "whipped" by the single guys. Little do they know that the girlfriends play a critical role on gameday. I'll further elaborate on this later.

Prior to the start of a game, we are excited to be enjoying a festive day with our closest friends. We greet each other not by name, but by referring to each other as "bro's." The combination of beer and grease makes us even happier. Then the game starts and we are voicing our displeasure over a coaches decision or the selected officials to call the game. As the competition commences, we are either irate over a sluggish start or setting ourselves up for disappointment if we get our hopes up prematurely. This tends to happen quite often, especially since I have been cheering for a hopeless hockey team for almost 20 years now.

There are certain sports fans we call arm-chair managers/coaches, which is a know-it-all that calls all the shots from the comforts of a recliner. During the course of a game, the arm-chair coaches start dissecting every single play, stating what could of or should of happened. Their coaching credentials consist of all the fantasy league teams they've "managed."

As the buzzer signals the start of half time, we proceed to damage our livers and do terrible things to our heart. This ordeal takes up most of half-time which runs about 15-20 minutes, so by the start of the second half of the game we are rather lethargic. This is where having the girlfriends present is key, as we kindly ask them if they could drive us back.

Just like a herd of cattle, we scurry back to our seats for the start of the second half. By this point in the game, some of us have lost interest in the event so we start to work on our social skills. This usually consists of further discussions on other sports. From this point forward the level of excitement is rather lull until the closing moments of the game (if it is a close one).

This is when it starts to get tense and we are at the edge of our seats (that is if we are seated). There is a lot of shouting and hollering taking place as the closing seconds wind down and we are either cheering or jeering for our team to pull one through in dramatic fashion. More often than not, we are left disappointed, but every once in a while, a miraculous, fortunate bounce goes our way and we start jumping up and down like over enthusiastic children and suddenly become very affectionate with our male friends. I can't explain why sports has that affect on us. I blame the alcohol.

At the end of the night we are either jovial or dejected, but it really doesn't matter who wins or loses. The most valuable lessen I learned about sports comes from the mouth of Homer Simpson. "When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

How to convince your girlfriend to see a horror flick

I face a great dilemma. I can't for the life of me convince my girlfriend to see a horror film with me. It isn't quite the same seeing horror flicks with a group of guys. We want to see our girlfriends react to the most horrifying scenes, not because we get a kick from watching them squirm (least not all of us do), but because it actually enhances the viewing experience. Plus I find it cute when my girlfriend struggles to cover her eyes and ears simultaneously and is forced to bury her head in my shoulder.

A little background as to why I am enamored by horror films of yore... I grew up watching classic Universal horror films; Dracula, the Werewolf, Frankenstein and the Mummy (which I dressed up as for Halloween in 1st grade). When I was a child I would run and hide under the table, cover my eyes and peek through the slits of my fingers during any tense scene. I also did that during love scenes. Then I started to get exposed to the slasher genre which started with Alfred Hitchcock's horror classic "Psycho," and was then mastered by John Carpenter in "Halloween."

The film that ended up terrifying me the most was William Peter Blatty's "The Exorcist." I couldn't sleep comfortably for days. I also read the book which is just as scary as the film. There is probably no way I'll be able to successfully convince my girlfriend to watch the film or read the book. I probably can't even bribe her with a Gucci purse.

Convincing my girlfriend to see a horror flick with me would be a great feat, but I can't think of any creative or convincing ways to get her to watch them with me. My only options are to:

A) Get her really drunk, but that isn't fun as she'll be too beligerent to react to the film.

B) Lie. Just tell her I'm taking her to see the sequel to "The Notebook" and act like I accidently bought the wrong movie tickets.

C) Bind her against her will. This might lead to a restraining order though. Not a good option...

D) Promise you'll do anything for her if she'll go. This usually doesn't work out too well for me since I'll probably end up doing anything for her anyway.

E) Beg or plead. You'll lose some points in manliness, so it is a risk/reward situation. Ask yourself, 'does the end result justify the means?'

If any of you can think of other options or anecdotes that have proven to work, please share them! I'll update my readers if I am somehow able to successfully convince my girl to see a horror film with me. Until then, I swallow a bitter pill and watch dehumanizing films with her, better known as "chick flicks." The horror... the horror.

Embarrassing childhood memories

We all have memories that we would like to erase from our past, and scientists are on top of it, working on a magic pill that would wipe out any bad memories. I'm not quite sure that is necessarily a good thing though, as we all learn a lesson from what we experience in life, including the bad ones. I have my share of them and I'm going to share some embarrassing moments from my childhood with you.

1. I have fallen off a horse and ended up covered in horse poop.
2. After chasing some chickens on my grandpa's ranch, a rooster proceeded to chase after me, where I ended up slipping and falling in chicken poop.
   
3. A bird pooped on my shoulder. According to middle eastern culture, that is a sign of good luck. Yeah, right.
4. Forgetting my lines during our school recital of the "12 Days of Christmas." I was one of the drummers drumming, and I looked like a dork.
5. My junior high school portrait. It is quite possibly the goofiest picture of me that I hope will never be uncovered.
   
6. Getting inside a stranger's car, who happened to drive the same colored Ford Explorer that my dad owned. It was quite the awkward situation.
   
7. Walking into a glass door. And I was NOT drunk.
8. Inadvertently getting knocked out by my friend. Long story short, I stood behind a rascal who had a lead pipe in his hands and was about to deliver a crushing blow to a rat. Little did I know I was about to get a brunt of the blow.
9. Having my nose busted open while working out at the high school gym during PE class.
   
10. And the most embarrassing childhood memory: while I was in 1st grade, I was punished for some reason or another, so I had to stand in the corner and was not even allowed to use the restroom-- and I had to go REAL bad. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
    

If any of you readers or lurkers have the courage to do so, please share some of your embarrassing memories, (and if you are too embarrassed you can at least post anonymously!).

What I learned from watching Scarface

I owe a lot of gratitude to Brian De Palma's film, "Scarface" (1983). It made quite an impression on many young impressionable males, much like I was. For those of you living under a rock and are not familiar with the film, "Scarface" is about a small time criminal's rise to the top; from dishwasher to leader of the most powerful drug cartel in Miami. Al Pacino's portrayal of Tony Montana, a ruthless political refugee from Cuba, was met with much controversy for depicting Cuban immigrants as being violent criminals. Or maybe they were just upset with Pacino's hokey Cuban accent.

There are many valuable lessons I learned from watching the film. I discovered that the "f-word" can be used as an expression of love. Not to get high on your own supply. That ladies find men in cheap leisure suits and bad haircuts rather attractive. Not to underestimate the other guy's greed. Absorbing copious amounts of cocaine makes you impervious to pain. In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. Most importantly, I learned that the guy who wants more than what he needs doesn't fly straight no more.

To summarize the film in a sentence, "Scarface" is about chasing the American dream: excess, power and greed. As Ms. Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer's character in "Scarface") put it-"Nothing exceeds like excess."

The Evils of Social Networking

I finally did it. To my behest, I am now a (reluctant) blogger. Why did I finally muster the courage to blog? For one thing, I find writing to be therapeutic, not that I seek any therapy... secondly, when a gorgeous girl with the prettiest set of eyes bats her long lashes and kindly asks you to do anything, you do it! So yes, I admit, much like an antsy teenager, I caved in to peer pressure.

My first blog entry selection: social networks. I admit I use them, but truthfully, I despise "social networking." Sure, they have some benefits, like staying in touch with people you don't like, but it also has its setbacks. I present my top 10 reasons why social networking stinks:

1) They're impersonal
2) One can easily edit their real thoughts, something you can't do in an actual conversation
3) Having to constantly post some witty comment in order to make it look like you have a sense of humor
4) There are tons of creeps out there with bad intentions
5) It is easy for anyone to hide their true personality
6) Stalkers
7) They become a distraction, thus causing a lack of production at the workplace
8) Having to constantly read comments like "LOL" or "ROFL" or "LMAO" or "OMG"
9) The sheer amount of grammatical errors is dumbfounding (personal pet peeve of mine)
10) Up to the minute status updates. There is always that one particular person who has to let the world know exactly what they are doing at the top of every hour. I for one don't care if you are checking your email at 3AM in the fricken' morning!

Which leads me to question, why did I sign up to those sites? As stated earlier, it was easy to stay in touch with my out of town friends, especially during a time when I moved away from all of my closest and dearest friends.

My reluctance to join most of these networks was mainly due to concerns of privacy. Yes, I am aware of privacy settings, but I'm a low key person who flies under the radar and keep a lot of things to himself. If I need to air something out to a friend, I approach them personally, not online through myspace or facebook. Or maybe I can blog about it? ;)